Spurs, Diapers, and Dreams - The Ride Doesn't End

By Kayla Ross

Raising children is one of life's greatest blessings, joys, and responsibilities. Sometimes I try to remember what life was like before having kids and wonder what I did with all my free time. Time seems to be the biggest challenge when raising a family—it goes by far too quickly, yet there never seems to be enough of it in a day.

I firmly believe that my husband and I are better parents to our two wonderful young daughters because we continue to make time for the things we're passionate about. For him, it's hockey and golf. For me, it's horses.

I realize how fortunate I am to have parents nearby who happily spend time with their granddaughters and a husband who has never treated caring for his own children like "babysitting." I still remember the nerve-wracking feeling of leaving our oldest daughter with him when she was just six weeks old. I made sure there was enough milk, gave him a quick rundown of everything he might need, and trusted that he could handle the next two hours—even if it meant simply surviving.

The guilt was a bit overwhelming as I closed the front door, hearing my daughter crying behind me while my spurs jingled with every step toward my truck, country music playing through the speakers. Looking back, so many good things came from not letting that mom guilt convince me to turn around. I rediscovered the joy of being back in the saddle, my husband gained confidence caring for our daughter on his own, and our little girl learned that being away from Mom for a short time was okay.

Of course, not everyone has someone available to watch their children, and that's okay too. If you can safely bring your baby to the barn, they can quickly become accustomed to the sights, sounds, and smells of farm life. I've done this many times, whether I was working my horse from the ground or squeezing in a ride, and it was always worth it.

Fair warning: You may end up raising a horse- or tractor-obsessed toddler who insists they need their own pony and farm one day!

Here are a few things that worked well for me:

1. Baby wearing

I used an Ergo carrier and wore my babies while catching horses, grooming, lunging, or doing other chores that I felt were safe with them securely strapped to me.

2. Keep them nearby in a stroller or wagon

If my babies were content in the stroller, I'd park them in a safe location well away from the horses but still within sight. I'd work on groundwork or sneak in a quick ride, even if it meant hopping off to reposition a bottle or check on them. As an added bonus, it helped my horse become more comfortable with the occasional sounds of little cries around the arena.

3. Set up a swing or Jolly Jumper

If your barn has a safe area, a baby swing or Jolly Jumper can keep little ones happy while you spend time with your horse nearby.

4. Create a safe play area

A small, enclosed play space gives toddlers room to explore while keeping them secure and allowing you to stay close.

5. Recruit "The Saddle Club"

Every barn seems to have a group of horse-crazy kids. If there's a responsible young rider looking to earn a little extra money, consider asking them to entertain your little one while you ride. Your child stays nearby, and you get some uninterrupted saddle time.

6. Let your coach lend a hand

I've had coaches push the stroller or wear the baby while coaching my lesson, and it worked wonderfully. I got to ride, my baby was happy, and my coach got a few extra baby snuggles. Who doesn't love those?

The biggest takeaway is this: you can be an incredible mom to your children and your horses. Choosing to start a family doesn't mean giving up horseback riding. It does mean adjusting your expectations.

Some days your ride might only last 20 minutes and focus on one simple goal. Other days your plans may change completely depending on your child's mood. Eventually, you'll have a tiny helper insisting on brushing the horse, carrying the lead rope, or feeding "just one more" carrot. Grooming sessions will take twice as long, your horse may gain a few extra pounds from all the treats, but the smile on your child's face will make every minute worthwhile.

I hope one day my girls look back and see that it's possible to continue chasing your dreams while raising a family. I hope they remember that with a little help, plenty of patience, and a healthy dose of creativity, you don't have to choose between being a devoted parent and pursuing the things you love.

The ride doesn't end when motherhood begins—it simply takes on a whole new adventure!